The Great Oak Tree in Oaklands Mansion Park, that is over 150 years old, has awoken from its long slumber to choose a champion. A child of the forest has been selected, whose destiny will be to face President Donald J. Trump, holder of the Triforce of Power, in Armed Magickal Combat.
First the child, who is to be clad in green as per custom, must travel and collect three Magic Gems, then retrieve the Master Sword from Bohemian Grove, where it has been guarded for the past century by Wicked Occultists.
If successful, the President will be Banished to the Realm of the Void for Eternity. When asked why all this had not happened sooner, because certainly straits in America and elsewhere have been dire for some time, The Great Murfree Tree commented, "Sorry, I overslept."
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